Family

The problem with blogging is that people feel the need to be entertaining. I am too tired to be entertaining. I also feel like it would be so long winded to give the back story on some of the crap I want to blog about... blah blah blah....

.....right, so I had spewed a whole litany of my venomous wrath directed at the parental units of one Duck (my aforementioned fiance. that word seriously makes me cringe). I sat on the entry for a few days and decided that posting it would only continue my annoyance everytime I saw it.

Suffice it to say they are not good people.

However, yesterday I spent the day with my grandfather. The original purpose was to go to the cardiologist, but his memory is starting to go, so these trips endup being a meandering through the streets of his past.

I know I should be upset that he's starting to fail a little, but I sort of enjoy being able to see that side of him. He was never the kind of guy to sit and chat and tell stories. He was "The Boss" at the ironworks and at home. I feel a little badly that I know he's probably winding down at 89, but I'm also a little happy that I get to be privy to those moments where I begin to understand who is really is. And I see a lot of myself.

I am always in charge. Even when I don't want to be. Very little happens in my immediate sphere without a consultation with the Platypus. I'm hard pressed to forgive a transgression and I am prone to irrational (well, to others) violence.

But I feel like these things have been put upon me. I don't really want to be like that, but somehow, I have to be the one to be resolute.

I think I know how he feels.

It's hard for me to see the Duck's parents behaving so poorly and not at all like parentals should and then to spend the day with my grandfather, the uberparent. Without him, we would all be useless.

What on earth are we going to do when he's gone?