And the Hits Keep on Comin'

well boys and girls, I am a very poor blogger. I know this, I read other people's blogs. really wonderful essays on what makes life tick. my entries are small and infrequent and not very earth shattering. I know I'm not much of a writer. But I have something new to write about. Hopefully something that is moderately more interesting than ranting about my wedding. And go get yourself some cocoa because this is doozy of a post.

I am pregnant.

Yup, really really actually pregnant. I figure it happened right after we got back from Greece. So that makes it 7 weeks tomorrow. I know that this may seem a little absurd. I mean, I haven't even been married for two full months. But I went to the doctor last wednesday and they did an ultrasound and I had a definitive gestational sack with an embryo that appeared to have a heart flutter.

My profession being what it is, I know I advise friends and patients all the time to keep their early pregnancies to their immediate family. This is supposedly to save you from having to explain the very frequent early miscarriages. A good friend of mine recently went through a very similar situation, only last month. She went for her first ultrasound and they had difficulty detecting a FHR or a fetal pole. She hadn't told anyone and so the miscarriage was her own business.

But it was really hard. It was hard for her to go through that alone without her family or friends knowing and being able to be compassionate. Not that there's anything anyone could have done. Except maybe it would have been nice to be able to cry to someone. Because it sucks.

So I decided to tell quite a few people. Starting with my mom. Who I think is excited about it, but is being strangely quiet about the whole thing. Sort of the same way she was when I told her I was buying a house and again when we told her we were getting married. It's like she doesn't want to let on what she really thinks... It's sort of annoying. Especially when it's your mom and she was the kind of mom who was up in all your business for, oh, your entire life.

I think she's excited though as she's decided to tell everyone she knows. Which includes hideously annoying dude who lives with her. We can't discuss him. We'll just call him the Rat. He is small, presumptuous, slovenly, unhelpful, barely employed and very very loud. So, yeah, Rat is fitting. We don't know why on earth she would want him around, but I guess she finds him amusing... this is the same woman who laughs out loud at the previews for Talledega Nights: the Legend of Ricky Bobby. So, yeah, not so discerning in that respect.*

In addition to the Rat, she's telling her bridge club tonight (which in her defense is also my bridge club and I haven't been there since the big W and now I'm too tired and must go home and go to bed after work everyday) and she wants to tell the people on her job.

So I guess that means she's excited. I told a few of my girlfriends last night. We were out to dinner. It's a monthly thing we've done since college; whoever can make it out, we try to meet up to chit chat. In the past it was as many as 15, but now it's usually 4 or 5 of us. I was a little nervous to spill the beans being that I'm the first one and apparently (as I learned last night) everyone else has been trying.

Now I feel a little like a jerk. I mean, I didn't even try. I just stopped trying NOT to. One of the girls is taking daily temps, another is taking fertility meds and the third, well, you read about her last month... I just feel like i should have worked a little harder for it.

According to the Duck, this is Karma. This is my reward for being a good person and doing the right thing about his family. Instead of following my instinct of slowly torturing them and then burning their house down with them inside, I was the bigger better person. And they shit all over me. Repeatedly.

Take the example of the wedding rings... What? I didn't tell the story of the wedding rings?? this is going to be a long post. Maybe I should do this in bullets for ease of reading and understanding:

• The Duck's father is a jewler in the NY diamond district. We will refer to him as the Chimp
  
• He made my engagement ring. it is a custom design
• He is a very difficult person to deal with. He is ignorant and opinionated
• He is also easily swayed by people he deems to be experts (who, coincidentally, never are)
• We went to him to make the wedding bands
• We thought we were going to have to pay him for them (another long story. Short version: they are cheap)
• The three of us compromised on a design
• I was never in love with the design, but it matched the Duck's and it didn't rock the boat
• The Chimp tells us about this "new" metal that's better, stronger, faster than platinum and half the price
• We agree, he's the expert and we are paying for them so we'd like to keep cost low.
• Chimp informs us this is our wedding gift, don't expect anything else.

Fast forward ----->>>> Wedding comes, goes, we get rings, they are fine, we wear them to Greece

• Second week in Greece, the Duck notices that his ring appears to be pitted and dinged, rather severely. It looks like he's worn it through a war for 10 years.
• Mine has a huge gouge out of the side.
• We've been on vacation... sort of low on the "ring damaging" activities
• Upon return, the Duck goes to see his father to show him the damage
• The Chimp is astounded. He then reads the material spec sheets on this "new" material
• Turns out it's weaker than white gold.
• Chimp marches back over to the caster who he had make the rings and demands restitution
• Caster says "wow, that sucks. I'll cut you a deal on the platinum to make new rings"
• Chimp calls the Duck and tells him he can make new rings, but we have to give ours back
• He wants to sell them back to the caster to re-coup the money he already laid out. for our gift. which was defective. (arrrgggghhhhh)
• Platypus has mental breakdown and tells Duck he can have her wedding band back when he cuts it from her cold, dead finger
• Platypus then realizes that she is being played here. She then decides she will get the wedding band she wanted originally, since they have to be re-done.
• Duck talks to Chimp. They redesign bands. Duck gives Chimp a solid 18K ring the Chimp had made him for a highschool graduation gift.
• Chimp accepts this as payment for new rings (aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhh)
• Duck and Platypus wait. Patiently. For word that the actual rings are ready. But we still don't know if he's going to try and charge us. For our gift.
  

Ok, so we are up to speed. Now the Duck and I have recieved a written invitation to Chanukah lunch at his parents. And why are we being summoned in such a way? Well, because the Duck's prodigal sister will be in town for the holiday. She will be making the arduous journey from wherever it is that she actually lives (she tends to be a wee bit of a fibber) with her husband, who is a Marine and we were pretty sure was deployed overseas (because his mother, The Evil Flying Monkey, told us he was). So it turns out he's actually stateside and they can manage the trip for Chanukah to recieve gifts a plenty, but they couldn't bear to make the trip up 2 months ago for her only brother's wedding.

I'm pretty sure we recieved this lovely written invitation so that we would know who we were supposed to be bringing gifts for. I am also pretty sure I won't be going. And finally, I am damn sure that I am not sharing my big belly-related news with them until necessary. I want to wait until a Christening and send them a lovely invite. The Duck thinks college graduation should do nicely.



*which is not to say I don't find that shit funny as all hell.