I would fall off my bar stool
this is exactly what I would have done if you would have found me a few short years ago perched in an upper east side establishment of questionable repute with jack and coke in at least one hand and told me that I would not only be married, but married to the Duck, and not just pregnant, but pregnant with twins.
Actually I would have thrown my drink in your face. And probably sworn a blue streak. But I was most likely drunk. So you will have to excuse my younger self and her bad manners.
The truth is, that I never really expected to be here. I mean, married is one thing. It's bad enough. The whole "sell out to the man, sign the papers, pay the fee" thing is not my style. But the Duck said it was important to him to be married before having children. And well, let's face it. I'm inching up on 30 and I should probably get started.
So I said Ok. and we planned a wedding. and we had a fun time without having to sell any major organs to pay for it. Which is not to say that we aren't up to our eyeballs in debt. We did just buy a house. Which needed a lot of work. And I thought it would be brilliant to buy a timeshare (which was before the house purchase). And I needed to go to Greece for my honeymoon.
I didn't really think I would get this pregnant this fast. I mean, I know I joked that I was going to slingshot my diaphragm into the Hudson immediately following my ceremony. I didn't. My mother would have had a stroke. and then I never would have heard the end of it "the time you almost killed mom with your contraceptive device". I really don't need that.
And I'm sure I've mentioned that I live in a very old, very small house. With a rather surly kitten. There is barely room for us, let alone 2 cribs, 2 highchairs, 2 bouncyplaylandthingers.
How the hell am I supposed to afford the things to store these children in? not to mention, where am I going to store them. And let's not get started on the fact that my salary would barely cover daycare for one baby, but surely not two.
I've seen about a hundred thousand ultrasounds in my job as genetic highpriestess, but damn it all to hell if they aren't the cutest things bouncing around in there.
and by in there, I mean me. which is trippy. but really really cool!
Actually I would have thrown my drink in your face. And probably sworn a blue streak. But I was most likely drunk. So you will have to excuse my younger self and her bad manners.
The truth is, that I never really expected to be here. I mean, married is one thing. It's bad enough. The whole "sell out to the man, sign the papers, pay the fee" thing is not my style. But the Duck said it was important to him to be married before having children. And well, let's face it. I'm inching up on 30 and I should probably get started.
So I said Ok. and we planned a wedding. and we had a fun time without having to sell any major organs to pay for it. Which is not to say that we aren't up to our eyeballs in debt. We did just buy a house. Which needed a lot of work. And I thought it would be brilliant to buy a timeshare (which was before the house purchase). And I needed to go to Greece for my honeymoon.
I didn't really think I would get this pregnant this fast. I mean, I know I joked that I was going to slingshot my diaphragm into the Hudson immediately following my ceremony. I didn't. My mother would have had a stroke. and then I never would have heard the end of it "the time you almost killed mom with your contraceptive device". I really don't need that.
And I'm sure I've mentioned that I live in a very old, very small house. With a rather surly kitten. There is barely room for us, let alone 2 cribs, 2 highchairs, 2 bouncyplaylandthingers.
How the hell am I supposed to afford the things to store these children in? not to mention, where am I going to store them. And let's not get started on the fact that my salary would barely cover daycare for one baby, but surely not two.
I've seen about a hundred thousand ultrasounds in my job as genetic highpriestess, but damn it all to hell if they aren't the cutest things bouncing around in there.
and by in there, I mean me. which is trippy. but really really cool!
Labels: babies galore
posted by Jeanne The Queen @ 6:31 PM
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