facing financial demons

i wish they were cute and fluffy like sammy. but they are more like the sharp pointy ends of his teeth. argh. why on paper does it appear that I should have 100 surplus every month? what am I doing with this extra 100? maybe I should be saving more off the top. then I would see the extra in my savings account. I think I am just pissing away $100 every friggin month.

ugh. this sucks. i hate writing out a budget. ugh