Quote of the Day

Chuck Palahniuk

"It's not living alone if you keep a rifle under the bed."




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what is more disturbing?

that I know who this is.
that i'm not sure if it's sarcastic
that my father kept a rifle under the bed

Dusting off my resume...

The internet is the reason that I never get anything done. Not that my job here is so taxing, but I have a folder full of personal shit that I should be attending to. But I’m not. I’m just flipping around reading blogs and being annoyed when my phone rings and someone wants me to do actual work.

What the hell do they think this is? And I’m somewhat bitter that I have to see patients in the afternoon. I know that technically I have the time, but I feel like it’s setting a dangerous precedent.

Here’s the problem. I am understaffed. I know that’s a common problem for city hospitals, but we see almost 5x the national average number of patients. And my colleague is out on family medical leave. So in order to keep the clinic numbers up, I’ve started doubling up my appointment times.

But this means that I’m seeing twice as many patients in roughly the same amount of time. I won’t even bring up the fact that I’m twice as pregnant and twice as tired. But the main point is that if this continues for the next three months and the administration becomes aware that I am doing this volume alone, what’s to stop them from either firing my colleague and/or mandating that I continue this workload.

That will just not do. I think part of the reason that I am surfing around the ‘net looking to be entertained is that I just need to turn my brain off for a few minutes. I am working 10 hour days here and all of the other above mentioned factors, I think are finally getting to me. I just want to put my head down on my desk and take a nap.

I think it’s time to take the job hunt a little more seriously. I have to get out of here, possibly before the babies come. Part time work while hauling around a uterus full of twins is starting to look better and better.

I would fall off my bar stool

this is exactly what I would have done if you would have found me a few short years ago perched in an upper east side establishment of questionable repute with jack and coke in at least one hand and told me that I would not only be married, but married to the Duck, and not just pregnant, but pregnant with twins.

Actually I would have thrown my drink in your face. And probably sworn a blue streak. But I was most likely drunk. So you will have to excuse my younger self and her bad manners.

The truth is, that I never really expected to be here. I mean, married is one thing. It's bad enough. The whole "sell out to the man, sign the papers, pay the fee" thing is not my style. But the Duck said it was important to him to be married before having children. And well, let's face it. I'm inching up on 30 and I should probably get started.

So I said Ok. and we planned a wedding. and we had a fun time without having to sell any major organs to pay for it. Which is not to say that we aren't up to our eyeballs in debt. We did just buy a house. Which needed a lot of work. And I thought it would be brilliant to buy a timeshare (which was before the house purchase). And I needed to go to Greece for my honeymoon.

I didn't really think I would get this pregnant this fast. I mean, I know I joked that I was going to slingshot my diaphragm into the Hudson immediately following my ceremony. I didn't. My mother would have had a stroke. and then I never would have heard the end of it "the time you almost killed mom with your contraceptive device". I really don't need that.

And I'm sure I've mentioned that I live in a very old, very small house. With a rather surly kitten. There is barely room for us, let alone 2 cribs, 2 highchairs, 2 bouncyplaylandthingers.

How the hell am I supposed to afford the things to store these children in? not to mention, where am I going to store them. And let's not get started on the fact that my salary would barely cover daycare for one baby, but surely not two.

I've seen about a hundred thousand ultrasounds in my job as genetic highpriestess, but damn it all to hell if they aren't the cutest things bouncing around in there.

and by in there, I mean me. which is trippy. but really really cool!

BABIES!!!